I’m leaving soon to go visit my sisters.

I suffer from early packer syndrome okay might not be a syndrome, but it should be. I started setting aside stuff to pack a few weeks before my leave date and started packing last week.

This morning I thought I was all set.
And then one of my sisters asked if I had purple or silver nail polish.

Is that a trick question? Yes I bite my nails. But when I try to stop I buy new nail polish. Call it bribing myself. Oh I’m trying to stop again.

I think ‘take a photo and have her choose which purple’. I only have 2 silver and the one pictured is the best of the silver lol. Then I realized my error and PACK ALL THE PURPLE POLISH.

This lead to repacking…

All in all I repacked this day 3 times. Because the last time I forgot my flip flops.

Which may or may not have led to this…

Me throwing this shawl I made over my head and snapping a photo of it. Of course repacking it.

On the good news I get to be reunited with my sisters again.

Hey you! Yes you! Are you following me on Twitter? If not head on over and do so!

Feel free to tweet me questions. Or post them on my Facebook wall. I will then answer the questions.

Do you have questions about PTSD?

Questions about Elle (me lol). Questions about being married to someone in the Navy. Questions about… well everything.

Feel free to Tweet or Facebook me.

You know the song my REM “It’s the End of the World as We Know it (and I feel fine)”?

After I started experiencing my PTSD symptoms it felt as though it was the end of the world as I knew it. And I felt anything but fine.

The hardest part for me was being told to “let it go”.

Trust me if I could have, I would have.

PTSD isn’t something I can control. I can’t tell the flashbacks and nightmares “hey there I let it go, you can stop now”.

I honestly wish when this first all started happening and I was in tears crying sobbing cause I didn’t think I could take it any more. Asking  when would this all end? When would it stop? That someone had just placed their hand on my shoulder and said “I’m sorry but it won’t. You’ll have to learn to live with it.”

But they stayed quiet. I don’t blame them and I’m not angry with them. Because honestly they didn’t know. PTSD is different for everyone.

I’m learning to live with PTSD. Struggling with it every day. Because it isn’t something I’ve learned. I don’t think I can ever learn it. Not sure if I want to.

I say I struggle, but I happen to live a productive life. I say struggle because out of left field it will hit me. I’ll have a flashback, and it feels so real.

I’ll be walking in the mall and bam a trigger. Those emotions flood back and I will start to tremble. I will avoid things just to feel safe.

“I’m safe” those two (three if you don’t hyphenate) precious words that mean so much.

I’ve been trying to write a blog about what happened. It’s hard. It’s hard to put into words what happened.

On the outside I may look like nothing happened. That’s because it happened on the inside. And the inside is the hardest to fix.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I decided this year to give my husband Valentine’s Day off.
He’s been working hard.And honestly I know he loves me. So why do I need a day dedicated to love for him to say he loves me. He says he loves me every day.

I don’t need this one day for him to run around buying me a gushy card, stuffed animal, chocolate (wait I take that one back buy me all the chocolate you want), and other overly commercialized Valentine Day stuff you know what I am talking about don’t deny it.

One of my friends is holding a Luv Sux party. You  have to be single to go and bring a bottle of booze. Evidently bring a photo of your ex and burning it in the fire is optional.

Every one has a difference of opinion about what romance/love is.

Well… Happy Valentine’s Day.

“Are your vaccines up to date?”

That was question stumped me. It was a question that for me came out of left field. Because I haven’t been asked that question in some time.

My husband has soft orders for location X. Location X requires a screening. I went to said screening, which you have to love the military how they don’t tell you there are two parts until you are there. And I was asked if I was up to date on my shots.

Now I won’t disclose the location of soft orders. Because we don’t know if 100% if we are going there. But it is in the United States.

What vaccines are required in the United States?
Well… I needed to have the Measles, Mumps, Rubella, Polio, and Tetanus-diptheria.

Now while there is a debate about vaccines and if they are safe for children. I won’t go there in this blog post. But my vaccine record resides with my childhood doctor, who no longer practices any longer. So I would of had to jump through hoops to get my vaccine record. Luckily there is a test to see if you have the immunity to certain things. It just so happens that Polio can’t be detected.

Now honestly I’ve probably had the Polio vaccine. I know I haven’t had Polio. I am thankful I haven’t had Polio. It is a truly terrible disease that can cause paralysis. But since I couldn’t prove that I’ve that the Polio vaccine… I had an update.

And I also had some blood drawn to see if I’m immune to Measles, Mumps, and Rubella. Now I’ve had my Tetanus-diptheria in 2012 or so, so I know I’m good there.

When I went to get blood drawn I was told that a lot of people have come in to see if they are immune to Measles. A Measles outbreak has occurred in our area, in many areas. Again this is why I don’t want to get into the whole should you vaccine your child debate. Now I am personally for vaccines. So if I need to get the shots I will.

What would you do though if asked if you were up to date on your shots? You’re well into adulthood and you haven’t thought about this in years. I mean your parents were the ones that started the vaccines or didn’t. But would you pause to think or be 100% positive with your answer?

Okay well I am done with part 1 of this screening. Part 2 is around the corner. To good health!

Dealing with PTSD can be hard. It is easy to slip into depression.

I used to watch the Today Show a lot and knew of Jenna Wolfe’s exercising. But since moving to Washington I have stopped watching the Today Show. Sorry! With the time difference I find I miss a lot, DVRing it I ended up not watching it. So I just stopped because it wasn’t the same as when I was on the East Coast.

I follow along with the Today Show though. In which I saw Jenna Wolfe exercising at 9 months pregnant and jumping around like it was nothing. And I just thought. If she can do that at 9 months pregnant, really what is my excuse?

I’ve let myself gain some weight. It’s only been 5 pounds but sometimes those 5 pounds can feel like 50.
I have some key areas I want to target. I found this:

Thank you Blogilates for your workout plans. I decided to do the 30 day Flat Abs Challenge.

Now I told my husband I was going to start exercising. He said he wanted to join in with me. I left out this challenge part, well because I’m not sure if he’ll do it. Yeah we will go to the gym together. But honestly I’m not about to do the roll-ups with him because IT WAS HARD!! No joke. I’d rather do these alone and not feel embarrassed.

I started Day 1 today.

Besides the roll-ups the next struggle was the water consumption.
I happen to be the type of person that when I hear water, see water… etc I have to PEE. I can actually get dehydrated quickly if I drink too much water. Because I’m not kidding when I say I have to GO. When I’m doing dishes after a certain period of time I have to run to the bathroom.

I’ve spoken to doctors about this and it’s actually pretty common.

I’ve learned to work around it. Instead of drinking water I’ll make diluted tea (with just a hint of tea, mainly water). So I taste something else than water. It helps and I don’t have to rush off just as quickly to the bathroom. (I do have kidney issues and I’ll discuss that later).

But with this challenge I wanted to give it my all. So instead of filling my Camelbak Eddy with diluted tea I went for water. And I’m giving this a go. Water be nice to me 😉

I’ll update you with my progress… and if I will ever get around to doing them in front of anyone lol.

I have a confession to make.
For the past week I’ve been overdosing.

Being in Washington state is awesome except for one thing…

There is a distinct lack of sun.

So we’ve been taking Vitamin D supplements.

The container on the left is my husband’s. And I bought the one on the right.

Now my husband started taking Vitamin D after being tested by the Navy. He was put on Vitamin D supplements.

I’ve take calcium supplements because I’m lactose intolerant. So after the summer I decided to start taking Vitamin D.

Now I found the 2000IU at Target. So I thought awesome I’ll just take 2 which would be 4000IU.

I’ve been taking 2 for a while… except for this week. You see this week I had a brain fart.

I thought the bottle said 1000IU so I started taking 4.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,  Thursday, and then on Friday I look at the bottle after taking 4 pills and I realize my mistake.

My husband comes home and I tell him I’ve been overdosing on Vitamin D and explain and he laughs. Then says “well now I know why you’ve been so chipper this week”.

I’ve had 8000IU of Vitamin D for the past few days. Now for the record the recommended highest dosage of Vitamin D is 4000IU a day.

Because we live in Washington state with overcast I went with the highest recommended dosage. It’s helped. I’ve seen a difference.

Now laugh at my mistake. Brain fart FTW!