It’s the belief that gets you there

I grew up believing in Santa.

But what your Jewish. So true. I started converting when I was 16.

But I grew up with the belief in Santa.

For me it’s all about the belief. Whatever you want as long as you believe that is all that matters.

I found out a friend wouldn’t have much money for Santa for her kids. And they are at the age where the belief is the greatest.

I didn’t want that taken from them.

Why take away a belief too soon. Especially when it can be cherished.

So we are providing Santa gifts. We will be Santa this year.

Not to be a good friend. Not to be a good person. But so those little kids can have one more year of Santa.

Growing up is hard. Don’t need to push it. One more year of Santa isn’t too much to ask for


Brandless is an online store. Stating you can buy brandless things for cheaper.

I placed and order. And waited. It finally arrived. Ignore my stove, spaghetti got sloppy

This is what you see when you open the box.

So the paper on top is just there. Everything is throw in. I will say the cookies got broke.

I ordered dish soap and well… it leaked.

The cookie were good. I will say worth $3

I am allergic to weird things. But hey I can eat this.

I got these 2 items. We’ve needed an ice cream scoop for a while now.

Hmmm I will say these smell nice. But 35 for $3. I’ll let you decide.

We got a few more things. It was up in the air if they are worth it.

The coffee pods were not worth it. $3 for 6 pods when I can get more pods for $5. But the coffee is better in other pods.

I won’t be buying Brandless again. To me it wasn’t worth it. I can PrimeNow with Amazon and get some stuff cheaper. And it’s a fast shipment. This took over almost 2 weeks to arrive.

They need to pack the bag better.

Life being Life

I had several blog posts that were scheduled. But some how they never went out.

Life being Life.

Sometimes life happens. So those blog posts will come up soon.

My PTSD medicine was changed a few months ago. I was wanting to try a different medicine to see if it could better control my tremors. Sadly that wasn’t the case.

I have agoraphobia. Agoraphobia can affect people in different ways. My agoraphobia began shortly after I was diagnosed with PTSD. With my PTSD I wanted a safe place. And so my agoraphobia began. I wasn’t diagnosed with agoraphobia for several months. Because some of the symptoms match PTSD.

I also have OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder. I was CLINICALLY diagnosed with it early in life. I’m not talking about I just have to have things in a certain order. Where people claim to have OCD because they like things a certain way. No that isn’t OCD.

I grew up with OCD. I am lucky and can manage it without medicine. It took a lot of years to learn to live with it, and not fight against it. But I will say my PTSD medicine does help with my OCD. Which is strange because I miss my OCD.

I still do things that are connected with my OCD. I’ve recently noticed that I won’t do something that is classified as a compulsion. I have rituals and habits that are compulsions. Not all rituals and habits are compulsions. This is something I can’t just say, okay one day I won’t do it. It’s just something that I’ve allowed not to ruin my life. As I stated before I’ve learned to live with it.

I was recently diagnosed with TMJ/TMD. I am getting injections in my jaw and acupuncture. These things help with the pain. A few points of acupuncture help with my arthritis. So I can eat. I’ve lost 15lbs. The pain to open my jaw is so great that I don’t eat.

Life is life.

You gotta learn to live with what you were given.

First World Problems or No Patience

Gonna be honest. I forget to check my mailbox.

Sometimes I just plain forget. Sometimes it’s just due to my PTSD. And sometimes I’ve gone days in a row and no mail, so I let it pass.

I went to check our mail Saturday and it wouldn’t open. Tried for 15 minutes. Nada.

Sunday comes. Apartment people walk over to see what happened. Apartment person says they put a box that is too big in and it won’t open. I was told it happens a lot. That I can a) wait for post office delivery person to open it or b) maintenance will open it.

So now I’m one of those stalkers. Sitting by the window that faces the mailbox. Blinds are barely open. Just staring. Just waiting.

I know some where around 10am they come. So I wait.

Is not being able to get your mail because your box won’t open due to a package a first world problem OR just being impatient?

The return of the wallet

I’m kinda picky about wallets. So when I went to a Fossil outlet and found this mint green wallet I fell in love. I had it for a long time.

Then while my husband was stationed in Nevada a friend from his command took me to Reno. I was having a hard time in the area due to my PTSD. To be blunt I only remember pieces of the trip. The friend kept giving me drinks. Even my warning of I’m a light weight didn’t set in.

We went and watched a movie. Hello margarita. Went and had some oysters. And then dinner. Umm some pieces are missing cause I still don’t know how I got the Frozen ball.

But sadly on the way home. I puked. Into this Map Tote bag. And ruined my wallet.

I searched high and low for it. I didn’t even care if it was in a different color. It just seemed Fossil abandoned it’s pattern of this wallet.

Introduced to Poshmark by It’s Just Kelli I decided to search there.

And bam. Found the wallet. I was so happy.

I actually like Poshmark. I like to barter for things and Poshmark is the perfect place to do that. I got into bartering visiting foreign countries. I learned about it in South Korea. As I went to buy something. My mom stopped me because the clerk wanted to barter. I didn’t speak Korean so my mother barter for me. And bam I was hooked.

You find something for $10. Barter and you can get it for $8 or lower.

I did it on several trips to Mexico. I wish the USA had more bartering.

I showed the wallet to my husband and he pulled back. Last he knew I had thrown up on said wallet and you can’t get that out of leather I tried. But I told him how I got the wallet.

I picked up a few more things but I’ll write about that later.

But hello wallet I love you’re return.

5 Hours

My flight out of Chicago was delayed. I guess that should have been my first clue that traveling that day wouldn’t be good.

This time I flew Frontier. Now if you don’t know Frontier and Spirit are both bare airlines. So the flights are cheaper. My first time flying either.

So because the flight out of Chicago was delayed. My connecting flight was delayed. Because I didn’t need to switch planes. Flew into Colorado Springs.

Now we were told by the pilot that if we were going on to San Diego we couldn’t get off the plane.

As the plane was nearly full the pilot came over and said something about a lightening strike. So we’d be delayed. Okay no big deal.

Then it came back they found a dent. And until someone could come look at the dent we couldn’t leave. The pilot said we could get off the plane but to take everything we brought on the plane with us.

To me that meant that they could leave without you. So I wasn’t taking a chance. I didn’t want to be stuck in Colorado Springs.

2 hours go by.

3 hours go by.

Oh someone needs to come measure the dent. Then it has to be determined if the plane is air worthy something you don’t want to hear.

4 hours go by.

Oh the dent was measured. And we are good to go. But they have to go get it signed off. Jump through a few more hoops. Before we could leave.

5th hour…

I can honestly say feeling the airplane pull back from the gate never felt so good. Were told it was a 2.5 hour flight. Decided to nap a bit the old school way (pull down the tray, fold arms over, lay head on arms, close eyes). Oh I forgot my flight pillow and refuse to buy another one. Hey one is enough.

Pull in and by the time I’m off the plane it’s 8:30pm. I decided to not have my husband come get me because my daughter was flying in at 11pm.

So I went to the USO. Grabbed a sandwich and drink. Then plopped down on a couch for a few hours. Thanks USO you’re amazing!

Dragged myself to where my daughter’s baggage claim was. Waited and finally was able to go home.

Side note I doubt I’ll fly for a while.

Train Accident

Never in a million years would I think this would happen.

If you saw my previous post I’m on vacation. I’m outside of Chicago. Well I decided to take the train into Chicago and spend the day there.

I’ve taken this train several times. Something I did often when I was in college.

We weren’t to our first stop when the train stopped. And I just thought ‘we hit someone’.

They came over the speaker and said there was a situation and they suspected. Then they stopped talking. We were told a bit later it would be a wait. Someone in our car went to investigate. He came back. The train had hit someone. They were still alive. The person was helicoptered to a hospital.

The train went to the next station. Just before the station we were asked to switch trains. So we climbed down into the gravel. Walked over a track. And went onto a 5 car train. We went to the next station. Anyone who wanted off got off. The rest of us headed to Chicago.

After nearly 2 hour delay we finally made it into Chicago. Ran to get some hot chocolate. Because let’s be honest it’s yummy.

Got some pizza. Went to Dylan’s Candy Bar. Got some candy for my husband.

Took the last train back arriving super late. Ahh what a trip.

I tried to find information about the person that was hit. It was a minor child, yet almost an adult. They walked in front of the train. From the person who went they were in a bikini. So I would imagine they were at the lake and were hoping the track to get between the houses and the lake.

Update June 26, 2018: According to news outlets the teen did not make it. No updates of what happened are available.