I need you now

I could feel myself begin to shake. My medicine was downstairs.
I made my way downstairs, holding on tight to the railing so I wouldn’t fall.
I turned and that is when my body gave out.

PTSD won…

I remember falling and then nothing. Surrounded in darkness I just slipped away.
A few times I opened my eyes and felt a wet tongue glide across my skin.

Our husky escaped from his crate and was there next to me.

His soft kisses bringing me back from the darkness.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and he helped me sit up.

I have no idea how long I was out. By the time the darkness left I was left sore and bruised. I thanked the dog for helping me. Something he’s done since he was a pup. He’s been there for me and lets me know when the darkness is coming. He’s more aware of my PTSD than I am.

Ice has been my friend. I have a nice baseball size bruise on my arm, stiff neck and shoulders.

It’s been a while since I’ve had a flare up of my PTSD this bad. I’d been so proud handling my PTSD. But that’s the thing with PTSD. Out of the blue it can knock you on your butt, and in my case literally.

My husband is away. So I wrote him a message to let him know what happened. To let him know I need him.

I need his arms around me telling me everything will be okay. To tell me I’m safe.

Kisses on my bruises and a good rub down.

Two steps forward and one step back. Struggling every day living with PTSD. Something I won’t let get me down.

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