Head Above the Water

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What I’ve been up ro

I haven’t blogged in a bit.

For nearly 2 years I’ve been dealing with hearing loss. Almost 2 years ago I was diagnosed with mild to moderate hearing loss.

I’ve had some symptoms. The good old ringing in the ear.

Sometimes I even completely lose the hearing in my ear. If something is at a high enough pitch, it will wipe my hearing out for a bit.

Let’s talk about my eyes too.

I can temporarily see!!

These past few months my eye sight has gotten worse.

Now a few months ago I got an eye exam. Well say 2 months before I noticed my eye sight was getting worse. I was told at this exam I didn’t need glasses. That my astigmatism I’ve had since I was young was gone.

Okay. That can happen. Astigmatism can come and go. But my eye sight began to get worse.

I had to change the color of the guide for our cable box. I was having a hard time reading the guide. I’ve tried wearing both pairs of glasses I have. A pair from my college years and one I got 2 years ago. Switching them out with no relief. Now remember not that long ago I was told I had 20/20.

Lately I’ve been finding myself finding a movie I want to watch. But I’ve switched it to a Latino station. When they start speaking Spanish I realize my mistake. My husband and I laughing about this. I didn’t want to admit to him I couldn’t see the channel writing (It’s a black background with white writing. The description of what is on is a blue background with white writing).

It has been progressively getting worse. Just getting blurry. To be honest I was getting worried by how bad it was getting.

Was it due to allergies? Sometimes my eyes gunk up when I’m around cats cause I’m allergic to them. Hmm…

My husband called me out one day. I read something one way and he corrected me. He said I needed glasses.

Few days later I complained to him I couldn’t read the guide. He gave me his old glasses. It’s a temporary fix until I can get this looked at.

I’m currently getting some testing done to figure out the hearing loss.

Having TMJ is hard. Is that why I’m losing my hearing and my eyes go in and out.

Hoping for answers soon.

It’s the belief that gets you there

I grew up believing in Santa.

But what your Jewish. So true. I started converting when I was 16.

But I grew up with the belief in Santa.

For me it’s all about the belief. Whatever you want as long as you believe that is all that matters.

I found out a friend wouldn’t have much money for Santa for her kids. And they are at the age where the belief is the greatest.

I didn’t want that taken from them.

Why take away a belief too soon. Especially when it can be cherished.

So we are providing Santa gifts. We will be Santa this year.

Not to be a good friend. Not to be a good person. But so those little kids can have one more year of Santa.

Growing up is hard. Don’t need to push it. One more year of Santa isn’t too much to ask for


Brandless is an online store. Stating you can buy brandless things for cheaper.

I placed and order. And waited. It finally arrived. Ignore my stove, spaghetti got sloppy

This is what you see when you open the box.

So the paper on top is just there. Everything is throw in. I will say the cookies got broke.

I ordered dish soap and well… it leaked.

The cookie were good. I will say worth $3

I am allergic to weird things. But hey I can eat this.

I got these 2 items. We’ve needed an ice cream scoop for a while now.

Hmmm I will say these smell nice. But 35 for $3. I’ll let you decide.

We got a few more things. It was up in the air if they are worth it.

The coffee pods were not worth it. $3 for 6 pods when I can get more pods for $5. But the coffee is better in other pods.

I won’t be buying Brandless again. To me it wasn’t worth it. I can PrimeNow with Amazon and get some stuff cheaper. And it’s a fast shipment. This took over almost 2 weeks to arrive.

They need to pack the bag better.

Life being Life

I had several blog posts that were scheduled. But some how they never went out.

Life being Life.

Sometimes life happens. So those blog posts will come up soon.

My PTSD medicine was changed a few months ago. I was wanting to try a different medicine to see if it could better control my tremors. Sadly that wasn’t the case.

I have agoraphobia. Agoraphobia can affect people in different ways. My agoraphobia began shortly after I was diagnosed with PTSD. With my PTSD I wanted a safe place. And so my agoraphobia began. I wasn’t diagnosed with agoraphobia for several months. Because some of the symptoms match PTSD.

I also have OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder. I was CLINICALLY diagnosed with it early in life. I’m not talking about I just have to have things in a certain order. Where people claim to have OCD because they like things a certain way. No that isn’t OCD.

I grew up with OCD. I am lucky and can manage it without medicine. It took a lot of years to learn to live with it, and not fight against it. But I will say my PTSD medicine does help with my OCD. Which is strange because I miss my OCD.

I still do things that are connected with my OCD. I’ve recently noticed that I won’t do something that is classified as a compulsion. I have rituals and habits that are compulsions. Not all rituals and habits are compulsions. This is something I can’t just say, okay one day I won’t do it. It’s just something that I’ve allowed not to ruin my life. As I stated before I’ve learned to live with it.

I was recently diagnosed with TMJ/TMD. I am getting injections in my jaw and acupuncture. These things help with the pain. A few points of acupuncture help with my arthritis. So I can eat. I’ve lost 15lbs. The pain to open my jaw is so great that I don’t eat.

Life is life.

You gotta learn to live with what you were given.

First World Problems or No Patience

Gonna be honest. I forget to check my mailbox.

Sometimes I just plain forget. Sometimes it’s just due to my PTSD. And sometimes I’ve gone days in a row and no mail, so I let it pass.

I went to check our mail Saturday and it wouldn’t open. Tried for 15 minutes. Nada.

Sunday comes. Apartment people walk over to see what happened. Apartment person says they put a box that is too big in and it won’t open. I was told it happens a lot. That I can a) wait for post office delivery person to open it or b) maintenance will open it.

So now I’m one of those stalkers. Sitting by the window that faces the mailbox. Blinds are barely open. Just staring. Just waiting.

I know some where around 10am they come. So I wait.

Is not being able to get your mail because your box won’t open due to a package a first world problem OR just being impatient?